I listened to him with only half my attention. He offered me his
deepest condolences on my, our, loss. It sounded strictly pro forma, but
I appreciated it nonetheless. I smiled at my wife and sat down heavily
in my office chair. I picked up my pen, flipped the page on the notepad,
and began writing as he talked.
It was going to be a long couple of days, and I couldn’t imagine how
we were going to tell the girls. With an inaudible sigh, I concentrated
on the lawyer and blew a kiss to my wife. She smiled sadly and closed
the door to my office. A short time later, after I’d hung up the phone, I
leaned back in my chair and stared at the ceiling, lost in thought.
When I was in high school, and then college, so much of my life
consisted of routine. I suppose it’s the same for everyone. Even today,
much of my life is routine. Pedestrian. Mundane. But there are times
when the routine is broken, and these are the times by which we measure
our lives: a kiss, a love, a graduation, the birth of a child, the death
of a lover.
Once again, sitting at my desk in the quiet afternoon hours, I
thought back to my past, to one of those times when the routine of my
life was broken, and the world seemed to change, all at once. As you
might have guessed, it was the summer of 1979. But there’s so much to
explain before I get there. In many ways, my life changed more during my
sophomore year in high school, but the changes were all gradual.
They’re obvious to me now, but at the time, I hardly noticed them.
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